"Show Biz"

Mr. Brandon's Bus Goes To The Big City, chapter 5. Mr. Brandon exited the hotel and a man with a whistle, not a policeman, ask how he could help. Mr. Brandon tried to put on his best, I'm not from the backwoods of Alabama face, and said, "I need a cab my man". I think he pulled it off. The man in the cab asked, "Where would you like to go?" Not to shock the man with his celebrity he simple said in a calm voice, "NBC studios please". The man must have been a trained professional because he did not act surprised or even ask Mr. Brandon for his autograph. Upon entering the building Mr. Brandon checked in at the desk and told them he was there because he had been nominated for an award, you know the oscar of bus driving. They too did not act excited or overwhelmed by the possibility of greatness, man these people are well trained. He was told to be seated and a handler would be by shortly to take care of him. Hoping they did things different in the big city he was seated. In Alabama when someone tries to handle you they usually end up with a punch in the nose. Soon the handler arrived a quick look and Mr. Brandon knew he could take him if the need arose. Mr. Brandon was then escorted to a room called the green room. It must have been a room that they don't usually use because it wasn't green at all. In short time two other men entered the room and Mr. Brandon found out they were nominees in other categories. They were both from Massachusetts so they were not familiar with real english. Not long and a young lady came in and asked each of them to practice their acceptance speech so she could hear what it would sound like if they were to win. Next a young man came in and said he wanted to escort them to the makeup department, he looked like he was very familiar with makeup himself but apparently he was confused and in the wrong room because  there were only men in this room. He insisted, to be polite Mr. Brandon followed him to the makeup room. Well the first lady took one look at Mr. Brandon's hair and said, "We're going to see if we can do something with this" seems cow licks are not camera friendly. Then a second lady ask Mr. Brandon to be seated in a chair and started putting some kind of powder on his face, he thought it may be to help tone down his natural handsomeness so as not to out shine the other contestants. Then for the finale they even combed his mustache. After spending more time in the not green, green room Mr. Brandon was told it was time to go to the show. At this point he was told, "Mr. Brandon, if you are selected we need you to stand, act excited and move to the podium say your speech then move off with the young lady to be seated in a different part of the stage. He was escorted into the audience and there was a chair that had a sign in it that said reserved. All the other times Mr. Brandon had seen such a sign it meant, not you. This time it meant him, he was a reserved! Then a man came out and said he was there to warm up the crowd for Mr. Harvey. He had the audience to stand and clap and move in time to the music. Mr. Brandon had to apologize to the ladies on each side of him for repeatedly hitting them. There must have been an over site with the produces and they did not realize that an old white man was in the crowd. Mr. Brandon noticed the camera did not spend much time on him as he grooved to the music. The show started and Mr. Harvey ask the audience if they had a great Thanksgiving, there was not much of a reaction from the crowd, so Mr. Harvey called a time out and the cameras stopped. He then explain that the show was going to air the day after Thanksgiving and they needed to act like they had a great Thanksgiving and not look at him like "What the heck?" but you know in the big city they didn't say heck. The first segment were people who had been given questions to ask and had already had a mic on them. The first lady was standing in front of Mr. Brandon and he was tempted to put bunny ears on her. The show had anticipated such things and the audience was told if they acted up they would be ask to leave. Mr. Brandon thought about the bunny ears looked at the man who would through you out and he was a really big, black man and Mr. Brandon decided in the interest of the show not to cause problems. The second segment was about a lady who had a spending problem, she had spent the families savings and had run up twenty five thousand dollars in debut on credit cards. Mr. Brandon did not think this segment would be very long because what's to discuss in Alabama she's out, move on. Then the time came and the studio was rearrange for the awards show. Mr. Harvey came out and talked about how important these people were to their communities. There was an attractive young lady in a long slinky gown and Mr. Harvey had the envelops in hand. There was a brief introduction to each category and then those words we all know, "And the winner is". It came time for the bus driver award Mr. Brandon checked the zipper on his pants for the twenty fifth time. Not to get his hopes up he had practiced over and over, "It was a privilege just to be nominated". Mr. Harvey waxed eloquently on the importance of bus drivers, which didn't take long, and then opened the envelop, "And the winner is... Tom Brandon of Walnut Grove Elementary". Mr. Brandon did his surprised look, because he was, and started down the steps trying not to trip on National TV and made his way to the podium. He said, "Wow!" because he had been instructed to, so it would not sound rehearsed, even if  they had made him rehearse it three times in the not green, green room. He said his thanks in a hurry as instructed and followed the slinky gown girl off the stage and was seated in a chair. As most men will tell you it's difficult not to follow a slinky gown girl. That's why they use them on awards shows. Five more contestants and that was it, Mr. Harvey said thank you for a great show and that he appreciated the work they did to make their communities a better place and then he was gone. Mr. Brandon  and the others were escorted off the stage to pick up their luggage and then down stairs to an alley past the dumpsters to catch their limo to the airport. Mr. Brandon was sure this exit was to keep the paparazzi from hounding him now that he had received the oscar of the bus driving world. That's show biz.