Mr. Mucus stepped on the bus in all of his patriotic glory. Smiling from ear to ear he was proudly wearing a do-rag, you know the ones worn by bikers under their helmets. It was red, white, and blue with stars. Before I had an opportunity to say anything the Twins who are not twins stood, placed their hands over their hearts and started, “I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all”. They finished with, “Let us now have a moment of silence”. The moment of silence did not last as long as I would have liked but at this point I had to hum “God Bless America”.
Friday, April 26, 2013
It has been pressed upon us that our children are the future. There for we have been bombarded with the idea that we must take care now so there will be sufficient resources so they may enjoy the future. Politician, television and celebrities speak of the evils of our out of control consumption. All of this has lead to the reemergence of the smaller fuel efficient car. Down with the evil luxury vehicle. We hope to have instilled in the youth of today a different vision of the future. As I rounded the corner to drop Mr. Mucus off at his house, there it was a small, million miles to the gallon hybrid. A marvel of the engineering world that would make the greenest tree hugger proud. He looked at it in all its shinning glory and said, “Hey Mr. Brandon there’s a clown car in my yard, what’s up with that?” Oh, well maybe they can brain wash the next generation.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Had a rather odd feeling when Mr. Mucus informed me he was going to tell me his secret identity. I mean that is a great weight of responsibility to be let in on someone’s secret identity knowing you could be tortured by the enemy seeking information. To be taken into that circle of trust is very moving. Then the revelation, “I’m, Bridge Boy” he said. With that he extended his feet across the aisle to the next seat and said, “In an emergency I can become a bridge.” I don’t know about you but I feel safer knowing there are such heroes among us.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
“Mr. Brandon, do you know what my brother just said?” was the question that came from a rather excited, wide eyed, kindergarten girl. It’s always risky to ask what they said but with little ones it’s somewhat safer. Proceeding with caution I asked, “Well what did he say?” In true secret informant fashion she looked all around then leaned in and quietly started to spell the word. Everyone knows you can’t get in trouble if you spell the word. Yes and it turned out to be the biggie. I looked into the wide excited eyes and said, “Does your brother talk like that at home?” “Oh, no” she said, “mom would throw him through a wall.” “Well you need to tell your mom what he’s saying on the bus” I told her. “I can’t do that” she said. “I would get in trouble just for knowing how to spell that word.”
Listening to the Authority discuss jelly filled donuts and an eating arrangement he has with his brother, the Flea, I was reminded of Jack Sprat and his wife and how they were able to work together making sure that the platter was clean. In such tradition I bring you this verse.
The Authority liked the pastries
But he did not like the jelly
A quick extraction slurp from the Flea
And the Authority could fill his belly
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
A beautiful morning, the bus glides smoothly down into the valley. We approach the river and off to my left I notice a flock of turkeys in a clearing. It’s spring and the Tom has his feathers all spread out strutting his stuff to impress all the hens. We continue on and this picturesque view of nature fades from sight, I look in the mirror and there he is on my bus, a Tom, with his sleeves rolled up flexing his biceps trying to impress the hen across the aisle. The hunter instinct in me goes to work. First, distract the Tom from the hen with a call. So I call in a very worried and concerned voice, “Tom, are you alright?” Good, hearing the concern in my voice he now turns his attention to me and asks, “Why, what’s wrong?” I take careful aim and fire, “Well, I noticed a mosquito bite on your arm and I wanted to make sure you were ok.” A cackle from the hen and he went down in a cloud of smoke with an “Oh, man!” I love turkey season.
Friday, April 5, 2013
The United States has long been known for the blending of cultures. There are holidays and foods observed and eaten from all corners of the globe. This morning I listened to a true blending. The young man started, “Mr. Brandon I played a prank on my Mom last night.” His eyes were all excited and I knew what he wanted so I asked, “Well what did you do?” With a giggly little voice he replied, “I dressed up like a Mexican Ninja with a light saber and hid and jumped out and scared my Mom.” Sometimes the cultures that we blend are from a galaxy far, far away.
Mr. Mucus board with his usual excitement carrying an empty paper towel roll. After looking through it a saying” Arrrr matte” he informed me he was a pirate. Then the paper towel roll went through several other transformations and then as being transported back through time I’m with Bell and his assistant Watson as I hear, “We could use this to talk to each other.” He placed it to his mouth leaned towards his friend, I listened carefully for those first famous words, it stared low and then gained volume, “Hello……….. LOOOOOOSSER.”
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
The boys were nowhere in sight as I pulled up to the house. I stopped and was about to pull off when they came running from behind the house. “Well,” I told them, “you boys just about got left.” The youngest replied, “We were behind the house working out some issues.” The oldest added, “We were throwing bricks at each other.”