“Epilogue”

Well, the Cheese Wagon, Big Yellow Banana or whatever the students call it has been swept, washed and parked for the summer. I would like to say to all my cyber riders that have shared in this year’s ups, knowing that Mr. Mucus is opening a summer club at his house where you just set around eating chips and swimming, and downs, when an SUV decided to see if a stopped school bus was something he could move, thank you. I hope in some way you have enjoyed the stories as much as I have in sharing them with you. I have had people ask me how is it you have such a well behaved bus? Let me say, I never said I have a well behaved bus, I mean it is full of kids, enough said. Not all that happens is news worthy and some would have to come with a PG-13 rating or higher. With all that being said let me leave you with this. Just like the kids on the bus we all have our ups and downs. Very few go through every day upbeat and bubbly. We are told that life is what we make of it and I believe this to be true but a little push in the happy direction is always appreciated. As I stopped and picked up two brothers that I have known since they were goofy little boys and now they are grown young men in high school close to graduation I said my usual, “Good morning boys”. They replied, “Good morning”. As they passed one of them reached over and patted me on the shoulder and that was my push in the direction of a good day. We all need it from time to time so today in word or deed give someone a push in the right direction and to all my cyber riders thanks for the pushes this year.

“How To Pick Your Fights”

I knew the conversation behind me was getting serious between the first grader and the kindergartner, when I heard the infamies phrase, “I’m fixing to serve you a knuckle sandwich.” Then I was called in as mediator. The conversation centered on who could beat up who. The kindergartner’s argument hinged on this vital fact, “Mr. Brandon he says that he can beat me up.” “That’s just not so, I mean when he jumps on the trampoline he sets down.” Note to self, in the future only engage people who demonstrate no trampolining skills.

“Faster Than The Speed of Light”

In this day and time where things happening so fast we not only measure things in seconds but in nanoseconds. The idea of how fast does a prayer move from my lips to the Lord, recently occurred to me. I was hoping that it was instantaneous. When from behind me I heard these words from a first grader talking to his friend, “Man, what are you doing with your lizard?” The prayer that leapt from my lips, “Please let there be a toy animal involved, Amen.”

“Goes Without Saying”

The Mona Lisa is a great work of art. The Grand Canyon is a true wonder of nature. Hot chocolate chip cookies go with cold milk. There are some things you just don’t have to say, they are self-evident. One such statement was made on the bus. As I’m trying not to breathe and in the process of opening the driver’s window a little boy leans forward, smiles and says, “Hey, Mr. Brandon I just farted.”

“Eye Care”

If you have not seen a comic book in a number of years they are far from the Superman and Archie of the past. The most noticeable difference is the way that they draw the female characters. Let us say Jane Russell would be envious. So I hear two first graders behind me whispering and then one of them says, “Mr. Brandon look at this”. At this point they put in front of me a comic and on the page is a very scantily clad, curvaceous young lady. “Boys, do you think you’re old enough to be looking at this?” I said. There was a disappointed head shake of no. “Boys, if you look at pictures like this it could cause you to go blind” I said using my father voice. Then one replied, “We better not look at it but let’s give it to him, pointing to the boy across the aisle, he’s in the fifth grade it’s probably ok for him to look at.”

“It’s All The Same”

An argument broke out between the first graders. The main point of contention was the amount of time involved, in what I don’t know. It hinged on thirty weeks or three weeks. After a heated discussion, it was resolved to everyone’s satisfaction when one of them finally said, “It’s all the same if you take off the zero”. The conversation ended in agreement. Diplomacy at it’s best.

“Uplifting Humor”

How many giggles can you get out of two kindergarten boy who have squatted down behind the seat, where they think they can’t be seen or heard? They look at each other and for a split second there is not a spoken word or even a breath taken. Then one of them blurts out the word “Bra”. The answer is forty minutes worth, well that’s all I can verify, at that point I had to let them off the bus at home.

“Start the Day Right”

A little, round, healthy, kindergartner asked, “Mr. Brandon what’s for breakfast this morning?” “Toast and eggs” I told him. “Awesome” he sang out. He always says awesome no matter what I say is for breakfast. He continued, “Mr. Brandon you know what we should do today?” “What?” I replied. “Today we should just set back and enjoy the ride” he said. Good advice for any day. I was also invited to a muscle contest that was going to be held at his house the following day.