"Gift Advice"

It all started the day before when the Twins That Are Not Twins asked if I had gotten my wife a present.  Being a man I was not sure if I had forgotten some national holiday or if I had forgotten a personal day and my wife had made some calls to put the word out.  I informed them that I had not gotten my wife a present.  Immediately I was verbally attacked in stereo with, "How come?" and "Why not?"  Being of the female gender they followed the criticism with gifting advice.  "Mr. Brandon, it's not that hard if you can't buy anything just go into her room and find a ring or necklace that she is not wearing put it in a box or bag and give it to her as a present."  They said they did that to their mom all the time and it worked just fine.  The next day they felt they needed to follow up on our conversation and asked again, "Did you get your wife a present?"  I had to answer, "No" again.  So they started in, "Mr. Brandon, just find any little thing with a hole in it, run a string through it, and you have a necklace."  They finished with, "Come on big man you need to do something."  Personlly when I get a chance I'm checking my wife's phone history to see who she has been calling.