"Pets"

Knowing your riders you also know the ones that have pets.  They talk about their dogs, cats, hamsters, lizards, snakes, goldfish and a menagerie of other animals.  They cry and tell you when they have lost their friend and excitedly tell you about the arrivial of a new friend.  You get to see bites from puppies and scratches  from kittens.  Those who have hamsters sometimes get on the bus smelling like cedar bedding.  There are the dogs and a few cats that follow children to the bus to watch them board and from time to time I have to tell a sad puppy dog face (literally) that no they can not get on the bus too.  There is one neighborhood dog that we count on each day to get up as we pass his house, he stretches and starts walking up the road.  As we circle through the neighborhood we always find him in the same yard down the road doing his business and laying back down.  In the afternoons there's a little black and white pup that can be found just about anywhere in the neighborhood waiting for a child any child to get off the bus and he chases after them with his tail wagging so furiously that he can hardly keep his balance.  His enthusiasm was not appreciated by a four year old.  As he rounded the corner of her house she let out a scream only reserved for a horror movie and made a mad dash all the way back to the bus, though she was only three feet from her front door.  As with most tender hearted children they are always concerned when something is wrong with their pet. "Mr. Brandon," a kindergartner started one morning, "I'm sure glad we got our cat fixed yesterday."  I couldn't help myself and asked, "Was he broken?" "I guess so," she replied. "He kept howling all night and would only quit when you threw a shoe at him."

"Tour Bus"

There was a loud "ONE", followed by a click, then "TWO", click.  From the voice I knew exactly where to look.  Looking in the mirror I spied the snowman shaped second grader with his little round face and round body.  His face was as red as his hair and he held a pencil in each hand over his head.  It continued, "THREE" and he clicked the pencils together.  With the shout of "FOUR" and a clicking of the pencils the hands came down and a drum solo started on the back of that seat that would have made any rock drummer envious.  A few more strokes of those magic pencils and he yelled out, "Gentlemen, I believe we have found ourselves a DRUMMER!"  Waiting for the finale, that all great drummers are known for, I held my breath and was not disappointed.  The energy and beat came to a crescendo, he threw up his hands, a pencil sailed to the back of the bus, and with hands still in the air he screamed out, "WE LOVE YOU WORLD PEACE".  A wipe of the forehead and all was quiet.  In my mind I already see his smiling face on the cover of "Rolling Stone". I'm going to get five copies for my..............  Go ahead and sing it, I was.  

"Just The Facts"

I was informed by second grader that school rules were boring.  This was not just a random statement it was based on these facts that he and I established after I heard the student sitting next to him say, "Hey! What was that for?"  1. If anyone in his family is acting crazy you are allowed to slap them in the face.  I'm assuming that it's the old bring them back to reality slap.  2. The student riding in the seat with you may be acting crazy but is not in your family.  Therefore you are not allowed to slap them.  Not being able to slap an unrelated person back to reality was what made school rules boring.  The slapping of crazy acting family members must not be a strictly enforced rule at his house, or this kid would have red cheeks on a daily bases.

"Your Order Please"

A second grader boarded the bus with what appeared to be a small cloth pocket type apron that a carpenter puts nails in while he works.  I would call it a nail apron but I have seen them used in a number of other ways unrelated to carpentry.  Before he was seated he asked if I would help him tie it on.  I pulled the bow tight in the back expecting a Bob the Builder moment.  He turned to face me, pulled out a piece of paper, a pen and asked, "Can I take your order Sir?"  I asked him to be seated and being a little hungry gave him my order.  "Two eggs over easy, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, and country ham," I said.  He read it back to me, had the eggs wrong but made the correction, then he turned to a fourth grader seated across from him and yelled, "Order up" and handed him the paper.  The fourth grader looked at me a little confused, shrugged his shoulders, waited a few seconds and yelled back, "Ok, pick up".  I must admit service was fast and friendly.  By this time he was taking the orders of the two young ladies behind him.  One ordered a sausage biscuit and the other one said she was on a diet and wanted a blue berry muffin.  Over all it was a good dining experience.  I would give it three and a half stars.  My only complaint was he told me about the special they were having on oatmeal after he turned in my order.  But he wasn't sure if they had any left because a man last night had ordered one thousand bowls of oatmeal and a piece fo sausage.  I stayed with my original order.