"Holiday Greetings"

For your sanity and mine let’s just jump to the last verse.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my riders gave to me:
Twelve pencils drumming
Eleven paper wads flying
Ten preschoolers leaping
Nine kids a crawling
Eight candy wrappers
Seven "My tooth is missing."
Six kindergartners crying
Five……….”He touched me”
Four giggly girls
Three stooges
Two handcuffs
And a “Mr. Brandon he just threw up.”

"The Aroma of Romance"

There is nothing more profound and deep than the knowledge of middle school students.  So as two middle school boys were discussing their girlfriends I listened intently, you know to try and pick up some tips on how to treat that special someone.  First problem to ponder was how do you really know she is your girlfriend?  Well I know for me it was while we were playing, The Game of Life.  You know with those little cars that you drove around on the game board.  There was a space where you had to take a wife and you put those little plastic figures in the car.  When I landed on that square and started to put my little plastic wife in the car Terri spoke up and said don’t you put me in the back seat.  I thought, “Oh yeah!”  Knowing that I was born in the dark ages and middle schoolers are much more “With it” now, I was open to new ideas.  He was sure she was his girlfriend because he had offered her his sweatshirt and she had accepted it.  “Well are you ever going to get it back?” his friend asked.  “It’s like this,” Mr. Sophisticated said.  “She’ll wear it until it loses my scent.”  Now thinking back on middle school and in particular middle school boys I don’t see why a young lady would even start to wear a middle school boy’s sweatshirt until it lost his stench, I mean scent.  Have you ever heard of a cologne called “Middle School Boy”?

"Stop Me If You Can"

We are often inspired by stories of people who overcome.  They face obstacles that seem impossible.  But through perseverance and a strength that can only be found deep inside of oneself they do that which seemed impossible.  Yet even in this age of great knowledge and resources there are peaks that have yet to be climbed.  In scriptures James talks about one such peak, “But the tongue can no man tame”.  I submit as proof to James’s statement these three instances when the tongue is an unstoppable force: 1. A young lady with a new engagement ring.   2. A grandmother with baby pictures.  3. A third grader with a new riddle book. Oh, what’s purple and hums? An electric grape.

"Miles To Go and A Promise To Keep"

The first thing he said to me after we exchanged the usual pleasantries of “Good morning” was, “Mr. Brandon I’m hungry.” Not an unusual statement especially from him.  So I reassured him that we would soon be at school and he could get some breakfast.  “No,” he protested, “I’m really hungry.  Could we stop at the Waffle House?” I have to admit the idea of some hash browns covered, smothered, and chunked was very appealing.  Before I could give the negative response that should have been obvious he pleaded again, “Come on Mr. Brandon let’s stop at the Waffle House.”  Knowing the bond of trust that is between driver and student I proceeded cautiously, “I tell you what we’ll do, if we pass a Waffle House on our route today I will pull in and let you order anything you want.” A smile of satisfaction spread across his face and all was right in the world. So as the big yellow limo rumbled on down the road on a route that we had traveled so many times that every house, tree, trashcan, and dog was familiar to both of us, he set back in complete contentment mumbling to himself what all he was going to order if we passed a Waffle House mmmmmm.