"Uninvited"

Mr. Mucus was talking about a trip he was going to take over the weekend.  He talked about where he would stay and most importantly where he would eat.  You could tell he was very excited.  The conversation was directed to those around him, especially his on again, off again girlfriend sitting behind him.  She spoke up and said, "It doesn't sound like a very fun trip to me."  Putting his hands on his hips he replied, "Well I'll have you to know that this trip is important to me and you should be happy for me."  The conversation escalated in volume so I stepped in with, "Both of you need to be happy and stop fussing."  "We are happy," he replied and continued, "This is what is called a RELATIONSHIP."  He paused for a few seconds and said, "I don't think you'll be invited to the Wedding."  Even though I was heartbroken, I tried to control my emotions and asked, "Why?"  He said, "Do you really want to see us kiss?"  You cannot argue with sound logic.  Count me as not invited.

"Freedom"

A small kindergarten boy stepped up beside me.  His eyes were as wide as they could be and still remain in the sockets.  His mouth hung open and he was pointing to his right.  I asked, "What do you want?"  He still seemed very excited, did not speak a word and continued motioning to his right.  So, I looked to his right.  There seated very quietly were three little girls.  You could not ask for three little girls to sit as still and quiet as they were.  Yet, there was something not quite right with the picture.  The little girl in the middle, though she was the picture of perfect posture, was sitting there without a shirt.  To be fair all of her older siblings are boys who run around the neighborhood without their shirts.  Taking into account the double standard I quietly said, "You need to put your shirt back on."  Looking at me with a big smile on her face she replied, "But it's hot on the bus."  I shook my head in agreement and continued, "I know but we need to put our shirt back on."  She countered with, "You know it takes longer to put a shirt on than it does to take one off."  Following that line of thought, I encouraged her to see how fast she could put a shirt on.  She obliged and we continued on down the road without incident.  All was well, except for the poor kindergarten boy who may have to see an optometrist.  When I let him off the bus he still seemed to have a rather wide eyed expression frozen to his face.

"Theology"

The discussion started about how someone had not done what they were supposed to and that was bad.  Then it transitioned to general discussion of good things and bad things.  That lead to a discussion of Heaven and the Bad Place (the only way to refer to it in front of an adult).  This discussion expanded into what God was like and what the Devil was like.  Then it moved to who they wanted to see in Heaven.  They mentioned grandparents and other relatives.  There were celebrities thrown in and a mention of presidents, I thought good luck with that but kept it to myself.  Then a young man that I'm assuming was theologically challenged, who was eager to enter the conversation, spoke up and said, "Oh! My dad has a real hockey puck."  The conversation came to a halt as if it were checked by the opposing team.  I don't know if there is a connection between Heaven and hockey but I do know I have heard the other place referred to in terms of double hockey sticks.  I find it hard to believe there is a connection with the Bad Place; due to ice and temperature problems.

"In The Eye Of The Beholder"

The Twins Who Are Not Twins, boarded the bus.  They were excited and  were doing their best to get my attention, "Mr. Brandon, Mr. Brandon look, look."  Well I turned and looked toward their house where they were pointing expecting to see a modern wonder of the world.  A quick survey of the house and grounds left me puzzled about all the excitement.  "Look at what?" I said.  "Our daddy's new antique truck," they said in unison.  Well, I took a second glance and sure enough there was a new truck sitting in the driveway.  "Its an antique" they repeated.  It appeared to be a fairly new model truck.  Having driven the same truck since 1988, I know old and this was not it.  "That's an antique?" I questioned.  "Yes," they started in a very excited voice. "There are these handles with little knobs on them on the door and when you turn them the window will go down and if you turn it the other way the window goes back up."  You would not believe their excitement about such a relic of the past.  Wait till they find out that you also have to turn a knob to find a radio station.

"Pets"

Knowing your riders you also know the ones that have pets.  They talk about their dogs, cats, hamsters, lizards, snakes, goldfish and a menagerie of other animals.  They cry and tell you when they have lost their friend and excitedly tell you about the arrivial of a new friend.  You get to see bites from puppies and scratches  from kittens.  Those who have hamsters sometimes get on the bus smelling like cedar bedding.  There are the dogs and a few cats that follow children to the bus to watch them board and from time to time I have to tell a sad puppy dog face (literally) that no they can not get on the bus too.  There is one neighborhood dog that we count on each day to get up as we pass his house, he stretches and starts walking up the road.  As we circle through the neighborhood we always find him in the same yard down the road doing his business and laying back down.  In the afternoons there's a little black and white pup that can be found just about anywhere in the neighborhood waiting for a child any child to get off the bus and he chases after them with his tail wagging so furiously that he can hardly keep his balance.  His enthusiasm was not appreciated by a four year old.  As he rounded the corner of her house she let out a scream only reserved for a horror movie and made a mad dash all the way back to the bus, though she was only three feet from her front door.  As with most tender hearted children they are always concerned when something is wrong with their pet. "Mr. Brandon," a kindergartner started one morning, "I'm sure glad we got our cat fixed yesterday."  I couldn't help myself and asked, "Was he broken?" "I guess so," she replied. "He kept howling all night and would only quit when you threw a shoe at him."