"Tour Bus"

There was a loud "ONE", followed by a click, then "TWO", click.  From the voice I knew exactly where to look.  Looking in the mirror I spied the snowman shaped second grader with his little round face and round body.  His face was as red as his hair and he held a pencil in each hand over his head.  It continued, "THREE" and he clicked the pencils together.  With the shout of "FOUR" and a clicking of the pencils the hands came down and a drum solo started on the back of that seat that would have made any rock drummer envious.  A few more strokes of those magic pencils and he yelled out, "Gentlemen, I believe we have found ourselves a DRUMMER!"  Waiting for the finale, that all great drummers are known for, I held my breath and was not disappointed.  The energy and beat came to a crescendo, he threw up his hands, a pencil sailed to the back of the bus, and with hands still in the air he screamed out, "WE LOVE YOU WORLD PEACE".  A wipe of the forehead and all was quiet.  In my mind I already see his smiling face on the cover of "Rolling Stone". I'm going to get five copies for my..............  Go ahead and sing it, I was.  

"Just The Facts"

I was informed by second grader that school rules were boring.  This was not just a random statement it was based on these facts that he and I established after I heard the student sitting next to him say, "Hey! What was that for?"  1. If anyone in his family is acting crazy you are allowed to slap them in the face.  I'm assuming that it's the old bring them back to reality slap.  2. The student riding in the seat with you may be acting crazy but is not in your family.  Therefore you are not allowed to slap them.  Not being able to slap an unrelated person back to reality was what made school rules boring.  The slapping of crazy acting family members must not be a strictly enforced rule at his house, or this kid would have red cheeks on a daily bases.

"Your Order Please"

A second grader boarded the bus with what appeared to be a small cloth pocket type apron that a carpenter puts nails in while he works.  I would call it a nail apron but I have seen them used in a number of other ways unrelated to carpentry.  Before he was seated he asked if I would help him tie it on.  I pulled the bow tight in the back expecting a Bob the Builder moment.  He turned to face me, pulled out a piece of paper, a pen and asked, "Can I take your order Sir?"  I asked him to be seated and being a little hungry gave him my order.  "Two eggs over easy, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, and country ham," I said.  He read it back to me, had the eggs wrong but made the correction, then he turned to a fourth grader seated across from him and yelled, "Order up" and handed him the paper.  The fourth grader looked at me a little confused, shrugged his shoulders, waited a few seconds and yelled back, "Ok, pick up".  I must admit service was fast and friendly.  By this time he was taking the orders of the two young ladies behind him.  One ordered a sausage biscuit and the other one said she was on a diet and wanted a blue berry muffin.  Over all it was a good dining experience.  I would give it three and a half stars.  My only complaint was he told me about the special they were having on oatmeal after he turned in my order.  But he wasn't sure if they had any left because a man last night had ordered one thousand bowls of oatmeal and a piece fo sausage.  I stayed with my original order.