“Naval Jargon”

As I’m driving I pick up one sentence out of a conversation going on behind me.  I hear one of the boys say, “I need to tuck in my periscope”. Please, please, please let them be taking about a video game.

“Multi-tool”

Mr. Mucus comes to the bus with a cloth over his hand. As I open the bus door he says, “Presto” as he yanks the cloth off his hand. So I inquire, “What you got there?” “Well” he started, “this is my ol rag, you can use it for magic tricks, you can clean things with it and I can use it to wipe my nose if I need to.” After he is seated I look in the mirror and see him wiping down the back of the seat. Then he looks up at me puts the rag across his arm and says, “Can I interest you in a cold drink this morning sir?” I ask for tea and was promptly served. As I approached the next house I hear, “Great two more customers”. The ol rag was being used as a hat before we reached school. Introducing “My Ol Rag” by Mr. Mucus” Swiss Army Knife has got nothing on My Ol Rag! We may have to run this by the promotions department.

“Personal Hygiene”

Hot Pickle boy comes up the aisle to get off the bus and as he reaches me he sticks his fingers under my arm to tickle me, I thought. Next thing I know he shoves his fingers under my nose and says, “Take a whiff of that”. Hang in there with me patients and Old Spice.

“Trader”

As the kindergartner boarded I said, “Good morning”. This was the response, “Guess what I have in this bag, I have a bottle of water and a banana and guess what I’m going to trade the banana for a cookie and guess what they wanted to trade for some skittles and guess what I didn’t have any skittles so I think they will trade for a banana and guess what the water bottle is leaking.” If you did not read it as one sentence in less than 1.5 seconds then you miss the experience. All I said was good morning. She never did let me guess.