"Full Schedule"

He hopped on the bus with gusto, threw open his jacket to reveal his new collegiate tee shirt and hollered, "Roll Tide". Then he took a deep breath and started, "Mr. Brandon, I'm ready to get to school, eat breakfast, go to class, work my butt off, go back home, get on that homework, jump on the trampoline, play a little football, eat supper and go to bed". I got tired just listening to the run down. I was looking for a place to hook a set of jumper cables on him to get me going for the day. After I picked up the last student on the route he asked if that was all and I told him, yes. He responded with, "Then let's get to school and work our butts off". The ladies in the cafeteria said he ordered an upside down original for breakfast. He told them that meant they needed to turn his biscuit upside down before they put gravy on it. I think he could get an energy drink endorsment.

"Yellow Bus Productions"

Apparently a hunting video was being filmed on the bus. This was brought to my attention when a student got up in the seat on all fours. I turned to tell him to get out of the seat when I heard the explanation for the behavior. He was talking to the student across from him, "If you want a clean kill on the deer you want to shoot about here". He then pointed to just behind the front shoulder. Next a string was pulled out of a book bag and I was informed they were building a bear trap. I inquired about how often they had seen a bear on the bus but that did not seem to be relevant to what they were doing. Next, I heard a series of squeaking noises coming from behind me and was told they were practicing their squirrel calls, that being said they moved on to their duck calls. I'm not sure about the reading and writing skills but the next report card will have A"s in wilderness survival skills. 

"The Hardened Criminal"

You have asked the fourth grader six times to be seated. He has pestered his little brother till he's crying. He has gone through the next nine weeks allotment of notebook paper making paper airplanes and throwing paper wads. He has broken pencils and discarded them in the floor. Now you look in the mirror and he is up again and coming up the aisle toward you. You ask what he needs. "Mr. Brandon" he starts, "that little kindergartner across from me just put a piece of candy in his mouth and dropped the wrapper in the floor. Well that does it, I'm going to see if we can get that candy wrapper dropping, freckled faced, little five year old demon put off the bus. I mean sometimes you got to put your foot down.

"It's In The Smile"

The difference between a poorly behaved rider on the bus and a well behaved rider; a poorly behaved rider gives you the evil eye and grumbles under their breath each of the twelve times you have to tell them to set down during a ten minute period. A well behaved rider smiles a sweet smile and says, "Yes sir" each of the twelve times you tell them to set down.